Lessons learned from my past relationships as a 40 years old straight woman:If there is one thing that I have learned from my past relationships, it’s to NEVER settle. As you go on with your relationship life and even throughout the marriage, you will always learn new things about yourself and how to be a better partner. That’s a given. You will have many opportunities to learn how to forgive, to be more thoughtful, to be more patient, etc. So never settle for someone who you don’t believe in your heart you can live and grow with for the rest of your life. But we don’t have unlimited opportunities to be with the right person. So once you find that person, never let go. I learn to recognize red flags early in the relationship and run like hell from people who exhibit certain traits: abusive, controlling, overprotective, pathological liar, etc.
- Mutual attraction and healthy sex life are very important to keep the relationship exciting. Passionate love helps a lot during a tough time in relationships.
- I neither have the capability nor willingness to “fix” a childish or broken man and prefer to go on my separate way. If that makes me a “selfish” person, then so be it.
- Trust and communication are the other two keys to a healthy relationship. If you are mad, sad, happy, or have concerns do TELL your partner. Don’t expect him/her to have the mind-reading capability.
- Money is a delicate and sensitive issue in a relationship, but it is something that should be discussed in order to avoid misunderstanding.
- I don’t have empathy for lazy and irresponsible men, gold diggers, and substance abusers. Please don’t ask me to understand their “reason”.
- You have to have standards. Of course, be realistic with your standards, but you should have them nonetheless. What kind of a person should he/she be? Honest? Hardworking? Close with the family? Religious maybe?
- Sure, the right person for you may not be a 100% match for your ideal person, but at the very least they should come close.
- You have to be the right person. Sometimes, relationships are about timing. I used to date someone who was perfect, but we were both too young. So eventually, we took different directions. He turned out to have a good career and a beautiful family. And so did I. At that time, I wasn’t ready to be a wife or a mother. And neither was he ready to be a father and a husband.
- 3. You have to trust your instincts. Sometimes, you just KNOW when that person comes along. Our intuition is so much more powerful than we often give it credit for. So listen to your inner voice, it never lies.
- Understand that Unconditional love is not unconditional tolerance.
- Be friends first before dating.
- Satisfactory sex is essential for a long happy relationship.
- Long-distance relationships are not for everyone, don’t force it.
- Learn to let it go when things don’t work out.
- Accept yourself and never feel guilty about who you are.
- Communication is important. If they aren’t willing to talk things through, the relationship will eventually fail.
- Time. Love people who consistently make time for you.
- Learn to love yourself so that you don’t depend on people to do so.
- Have a life outside the relationship, friends, hobbies, etc
- It’s actually quite easy if you tell your flaws at the beginning instead of saving them for later.
- Never change yourself or pressure someone to change themselves.
- Leave as soon as you can when you start noticing red flags
- Work on your shortcomings before getting into a relationship.
- You can’t change someone who doesn’t want to change.
- Don’t marry for money…But go where rich people are, and marry for love.
- If your boyfriend allows you to drink alcohol and smoke shish. Trust me he doesn’t see you in his future.
- Before you start using your body to settle financial needs, always remember there is no end to financial needs.
- There’s nothing worse than realizing you shouldn’t have told someone so much about yourself.
- Friendships have red flags too.
- Friendship isn’t about who you’ve known the longest. It’s about who walked into your life, said “I’m here for you” and proved it.
- Dating someone that believes in you is important.
- Never marry someone you can’t play with because marriage is not a military ground.
- Knowing that you are loved by someone is the best feeling you could ever have.
- Don’t make decisions just to cry over the consequence.
- Stop breaking your own heart by exaggerating your importance in people’s lives.
- If you are seeing this, it means your best days will start from this point onwards. You will heal, true love will find you, and money will never depart from your hands. Get ready for this.
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