Here are a few reasons couples get divorced today
What are the most common reasons couples get divorced?
1. Expectation
One Vital reason for divorce is expectation. We go into marriage expecting a lot of the other person and ourselves. For some reason, when we marry someone, all too often, we expect them to change. We expect them to change from the person we knew and fell in love with, to the perfect married partner who does everything for their spouse and fulfills all of their needs.
I’m not saying that expectation is wrong because we sort of has to go on blind faith. We think we will get married and have the same goals, that we will be adults together and raise a family together. We expect that we will be partners. Partners in all the fun things to do together, companions and lovers. We expect that we will grow together.
Then we get married and everything isn’t fun. In fact, it’s often very hard. Our expectations get shot down over and over and over and over again. Some people will take the disappointments and talk to their partner and come up with a solution. If the solutions can be made workable for both of them, they grow together. But some couples, no matter how much they might try, will not come to a resolution that works for both of them. They might find a solution that works for one of them but then one partner is left with their disappointments. If the same partner is disappointed, over and over and there is no resolution that works for them, they learn to set their expectation lower. Sometimes this works. Sometimes we need to realize that we are setting the bar too high. But when we have to lower the bar too many times, then nothing is expected. The bad thing is that when the expectation is gone because it has been unmet so many times, the hopes and dreams for the relationship die. When that is gone, there is nothing left. 2 People might still love each other, but if they can no longer dream of a future together, there is nothing left.
<<< Marriage is a 50-50 effort by both parties. If it is 80-20 or vice versa, it is bound to fall apart one day. It might not be on paper (as in divorce), but it won't be a true marriage either.
2. Giving Up On The Relationship
Another major cause of divorce is giving up on the relationship. There may be many problems that can cause marital chaos such as financial problems, infidelity, incompatibility, or abuse. Whatever the problems are, couples who care for each other will try to work things out. The government, Church, and other institutions support the continuity of marriage in the form of state-funded marriage counseling, free counseling offered by non-governmental agencies, and there`s always the Pastor. Insurance also considers this issue of marital trauma to be a legitimate and payable expense. Hence, couples can get help. The fact that they opt to get divorced is because they, or one party, has given up on the relationship and for whatever reason (which may be unreasonable).
3. Incompatibility
Couples just get bored of each other. This happens about 4-12 years after marriage when the wife and husband feel tired of continuing to marry. They love each other and their children love, but living together becomes intolerable. Once done, adjustments are impossible and battles occur on a regular basis. Ironically, even after divorce, they are great friends and happier than ever.
4. New Love
This is rare but sometimes Husbands or wives fall in love with someone else and call for a Divorce.
Personal Tragedy is another reason. Death of a Child is so painful that living together dredges up memories of the same. Best to separate.
6. Abusiveness/Drinking/Personality Traits: Abusive spouses cause Divorces
7. Ego: Spouses in the same profession often have ego issues and divorce
8. Professional Reasons
Long-distance marriages are hard and sometimes busy husbands or wives can cause families to break up. It's called a Kramer Divorce.
9. Feminism
Expecting husband to do all family chores and she or he in no way does. This is the present-day scenario..(𝙚𝙭𝙥𝙚𝙘𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙝𝙪𝙨𝙗𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙩𝙤 𝙙𝙤 𝙖𝙡𝙡 𝙘𝙝𝙤𝙧𝙚𝙨 𝙞𝙨 𝙣𝙤𝙩 𝙧𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩). Working collectively on know-how every other's conditions is important.
10. Adjustment & patience
No one is ready to adjust. Everybody wants luxuries without struggles.
When you don't struggle, how can the couple be strong even in the toughest phase?
11. Inability to resolve conflicts
One of the worst ones!! If you can't resolve it, the relationship is doomed. Staying in it will do more harm than getting divorced in long term.
There are several others but I think, a large number of cases can fall into one of these. This assumes, of course, that the people are genuine and were ready for marriage when they did get married.
12. Losing your own identity post-marriage
It is okay to be "WE" if that makes you happy. But for some people, being "ME" is also required (not always of course).
Continuation of (1): Losing yourself to the new role(s) of a spouse, parent, etc. Some people are so busy trying to perfect everyone`s expectations that they forget what they liked/dreamed of. When the realization hits, it might be too late.
Being married for 10 years and knowing everything about the person sometimes makes life dull. Eg: nothing left to talk about, no new topic. etc coz there might not be any topic, or you already know the opinion on the other side. So, why bother!
This doesn't bode well with some. They explore and eventually fall further apart.
In Conclusion:
Divorce is an extreme scenario resulting from unhappiness in the marriage.
Unhappiness can stem from various factors.
Women being more successful could be one BUT might not be the only one. This factor would end up in extreme scenarios when coupled with miscommunication, society judgments & other factors.
If a lady has a higher work position, a man can take the following approaches:
<< Feel contentment with her success & enjoy (make hay while the sun shines)
<< Work hard to rise (constructive approach)
<< Blame, fight, and make the marriage depressed (destructive of course!)
<< A lot, I think, is up to the man and his attitude towards life in general that matters here.
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