Oh, feelings. People seem to ascribe a near-mythical level of superstitious awe to “feelings.”
Okay, here’s the scoop:
If you’re even remotely psychologically normal, you’re almost certainly going to get “feelings” for someone other than your partner at some point in your life. I don’t care if you think of yourself as monogamous, I don’t care if you believe True Love™ means this shouldn’t happen…odds are overwhelming it will.
So.
First off, and I apologize if this sounds obvious but too many people, it isn’t: you don’t have to act on your feelings.
You feel all kinds of things. You feel happy, you feel angry, you feel scared, you feel bored, you feel hungry, you feel thrilled, you feel attracted…feelings come and go. You can’t control what you feel.
but,
You can control what you do.
So you get feelings for somebody else. And? So? So what? You don’t have to act on those feelings if you choose not to.
Are you in a relationship that doesn’t permit you to act on them? Well, you have a choice. Stay in your relationship and don’t act on them, end the relationship and act on them, renegotiate the relationship so it allows you to act on them. There you go. I mean, there are other choices too, but this answer assumes you want to be ethical and not be a douchecanoe.
Are you in a relationship that does permit you to act on them? Decide if this person you have these feelings for is a compatible partner, decide if you have the time and space to act on these feelings, find out if the other person even wants to act on these feelings (remember that a feeling on your part is never any obligation on someone else’s!), choose your actions accordingly.
But regardless, remember that your feelings may whisper in your ear, but they do not control you.
The choices you make are your responsibility.
Okay, here’s the scoop:
If you’re even remotely psychologically normal, you’re almost certainly going to get “feelings” for someone other than your partner at some point in your life. I don’t care if you think of yourself as monogamous, I don’t care if you believe True Love™ means this shouldn’t happen…odds are overwhelming it will.
So.
First off, and I apologize if this sounds obvious but too many people, it isn’t: you don’t have to act on your feelings.
You feel all kinds of things. You feel happy, you feel angry, you feel scared, you feel bored, you feel hungry, you feel thrilled, you feel attracted…feelings come and go. You can’t control what you feel.
but,
You can control what you do.
So you get feelings for somebody else. And? So? So what? You don’t have to act on those feelings if you choose not to.
Are you in a relationship that doesn’t permit you to act on them? Well, you have a choice. Stay in your relationship and don’t act on them, end the relationship and act on them, renegotiate the relationship so it allows you to act on them. There you go. I mean, there are other choices too, but this answer assumes you want to be ethical and not be a douchecanoe.
Are you in a relationship that does permit you to act on them? Decide if this person you have these feelings for is a compatible partner, decide if you have the time and space to act on these feelings, find out if the other person even wants to act on these feelings (remember that a feeling on your part is never any obligation on someone else’s!), choose your actions accordingly.
But regardless, remember that your feelings may whisper in your ear, but they do not control you.
The choices you make are your responsibility.
Thanks For Reading… 🤝
Learn How to Build a Lasting Relationship Or Rekindle Romance in Your Relationship with the ebook.
0 Comments